Skip to main content

Plus ca change...

I came across an old notebook when I was cleaning out a closet last weekend. In it, I had done exercises recommended by the life coach I was seeing at the time. The purpose of the exercises was to encourage me to contemplate what would give my life more meaning and joy.

It was unsettling to reread what I'd written because many of the issues I identified back then - more than 10 years ago - haven't changed all that much. I'm still frustrated by how little time I spend in creative pursuits, worried that I'm too selfish, and dissatisfied with my day job, On the upside, I'm much happier in my marriage, more financially secure, and (I hope) a good deal calmer and more resilient than I was. 

Still, it worries me that I've made so little progress dealing with some pretty significant issues. Does that mean I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life frustrated and unhappy?

For the past few years I've told myself things will improve when I retire and have more time. But will they really? In all likelihood, my life will be filled with just as many distractions, including the assorted challenges that come with aging. 

The good news I guess is that, for the next few months at least, I'll be living on my own in the city three or four nights a week, which should mean I'll have more time for the things I claim I want to do  - like running, writing, and spending time with friends. And, if I don't use that time to actually do those things, maybe that should tell me something. 

Comments

  1. I'm gonna be a brute here. And blunt. Don't think you're special to get this advice because it applies to many women, much more so than to men. Here goes. You need to be a selfish bitch about scheduling the time for the things you want to do. It's all too easy to be distracted by the world. You need to say no, I'm going to do this creative thing after dinner on weeknights. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it feeds your soul. Even us retired people run out of time. I'm amazed every day how quickly the time passes.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hippy dippy Candy

Like many girls of my generation, I spent a decade or so in the Girl Guides - first as a Brownie, then as a Guide, a Pathfinder, and finally a Junior Leader.  Looking back, I value those experiences a lot. They taught me a great deal about teamwork, community building, and learning outside my comfort zone.

My Girl Guide leader was a woman my sisters and I still refer to as "Captain Beacock". I admired her tremendously but she also scared the living bejesus out of me. Disappointing Captain - ever - wasn't an option. On one particularly memorable wilderness camping expedition, she insisted a small group of us (the oldest of whom was 13 or 14) spend the night in a leaky lean-to in the midst of a hurricane. I kid you not. In the end, other leaders, concerned we might be smote by falling trees, rescued us so we spent the last part of the night in a warm, dry cabin nearby, but she'd have left us in the woods if she'd had her way.

Our Pathfinder leader was the complete …

Good people

Husband lost his cell phone Friday night. He dropped it while we were stopped by the side of the road so he could have a pee. He didn't realize it was missing until yesterday afternoon, and, by the time we went looking for it there, it was gone. As it turned out, a fellow named Steve, who was in town for an event yesterday, found it when he stopped for a pee at the very same spot. I kid you not.

Needless to say, we were relieved to get Steve's message this afternoon. Though Husband only uses his phone to phone, text and check  email, it was nerve-wracking to consider just how vulnerable we'd be if bad guys got access to our personal information.

Fortunately, there are a lot more good people than bad in the world - like the gentleman who found Husband's phone - but sometimes that's hard to remember when we see such awful stuff in the news all day every day. It's important to try though. Otherwise, we go through life being suspicious of others, when the fact is m…

Puppy training

We got a Jack Russell Terrier about a year and a half ago. Her name is Jackie Blue ("Sausage", for short) and she's a great little dog - cute, good-natured, energetic and intelligent. She's also stubborn as hell. And lately she's started having allergy symptoms, which makes looking after her a full-time job. If we don't keep a sharp eye on her, she'll sneak off and lick her paws raw while we're not looking. It's frustrating and exhausting for everyone. We finally broke down and bought a "cone of shame" so we can leave her unattended for a few hours at a time, but she hates it so we use it as little as possible.

The frustrating thing about allergies is that it's so tough to identify the source of the problem. Is it something in her food, something in the environment, or some combination of the two? Our vet's best guess is that it's environmental but we're limiting her diet too in case it's a food allergy - which is to…